


Royal Pains

by CMDAK



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Fluff, Hallmark Christmas, M/M, Prince James Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 12:29:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13146726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK
Summary: Prince James and his bodyguard/ lover Alec decide to make a little bet. The focus of their bet? James' personal boffin, Q.Hallmark Christmas-type fic





	Royal Pains

**Author's Note:**

> After watching "Christmas Prince" - or whatever that Netflix movie is named - I decided to try and do a short Hallmark-type story for the JAQ fandom in time for Xmas.
> 
> What I understand by short obviously differs from what others do.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy~

Rare are the moments in which one person is truly at ease with himself and relaxed to the point of forgetting everything existed but the current moment in time and rarer still when two people got to feel the same thing and enjoy the same moment. But there were moments like that and they were even experienced by someone whose head was heavy due to the crown that rested upon it and by the one who was tasked with keeping such an important man alive.

 

“No, the Contessa isn’t fair game and you know that,” the protector tutted and lit up a cigarette, tilting his head slightly to the right so he could get a better view of what he lovingly thought of as his pleasant pain in the butt.

 

“Afraid?” His charge challenged him, putting on his dark blue silk robes just because it made the other groan in disappointment and that was his way of punishing him without really causing him any physical harm or emotional distress. “Alec, do you really think that you wouldn’t be able to vex the young lady?”

                                       

Alec snorted and rolled his eyes. “Oh, by the time I’d be done with that young lady, she’d be so vexed with me that she’d be imagining me by her side when she says ‘I do’ to you and secures herself a nice little crown and comfy throne.”

 

“Now that I think about it, for someone of her bloodline, a title is more important than what her heart truly lusts after.” And that way of thinking had hurt him many a time when he had been younger and foolishly gave his heart left and right, to the people he thought honestly cared for him as James, not for him as heir apparent James, first in line for the throne. “But you know that most civilians would think the same and you’re making that face when you’re too stubborn for your own good, so who?”

 

Tapping his chin, Alec did actually devote a moment to thinking before he spoke again, something that was rarer still than two people living in the same moment. “Someone you’re related—”

 

“Now you’re cheating,” James interrupted, tossing the man’s pants at his head, dumping water from one of the many expensive and antique vases that adorned the lavish room over the cigarette before the rug caught on fire – again – and then threw himself over him. “Plus, besides the fact that it would be beyond disgusting and illegal, everyone that’s related to me is royalty so your earlier complaint vetoes this suggestion which means that you have to start having more _common_ thoughts,” he gently tapped Alec’s temple, quickly pulling his hand away before he could get his fingers bitten off.

 

Robbed of tasting royal blood, Alec kicked James out of the bed and then hit him with the hardest pillow he could find from the fluffy – and very expensive – mountain that they had been lounging on. “The point was already gotten, so you really didn’t have to be so rudely driving it home.” He didn't care for a single second that back in the old times, people could be beheaded for simply _looking_ at royalty and so, he executed an elbow drop on James and then put him in a stranglehold. “Like commoners wouldn’t be swayed by your title, tigr.”

 

Despite his parents insisting on having an entire army of people guarding him 24/7, James had no problem defending himself – or just getting in fights and winning in general – so breaking free was easy and the knee he pressed against Alec’s lower back while he pulled his upper-half back towards him was a very easy thing to do – especially since the other man didn’t really put up a fight.

 

“Then how about we let fate choose for us?” James offered, although Alec really wasn’t in a position to say no. “The first person who walks in through that door – as long as you or I aren’t related to them – will be the right person. Deal?”

 

“Deal,” Alec wheezed out before flipping James over.

 

However, their make-out session got interrupted even before it started by a very loud knock on the door, both of them forgetting how to breathe while they waited for their surprise guest to come in all the while wondering who the lucky winner was. Will they be young? Old? Male? Female? Married? Engaged? Bisexual? Straight? Wait, if they were the same gender as them, but straight than that surely couldn’t count, right?

 

“Second person if that’s the case?” James whispered and Alec nodded, both of them holding on tighter to each other as another knock was heard. “Come in!”

 

A loud groan followed the third knock after the door finally opened. “For the love of—I knocked and you said that I could enter!” The young man with wild brown hair that looked like the perfect finger trap, green eyes that could be perfect to get lost in, a posh voice that made him sound like he was royalty despite him being a simple commoner, and which they knew to be gay exclaimed as he quickly turned with his back to them and pushed his glasses on top of his head, clutching the laptop he had in his arms tighter to his chest.

 

“Don’t hover in the doorway, Q,” James muttered while trying to roll off of Alec so he could greet the young man. “What brings you to my quarters this early in the morning? Not that your visit isn’t welcomed despite our state of undress.”

 

“You asked me to drop everything I was working on and upgrade your laptop and then immediately bring it to your room.” It was surprisingly easy to picture him arch one of his eyebrows as he said that, especially since he rested one hand on his hip. “I’ll just leave it on the ground and go.”

 

A well placed punch to James’ ribs guaranteed Alec that he was the first to jump up from the floor, grab a robe, and reach Q before he ran out the door. “How about you have coffee with me? I imagine the prince’s task took you all night and you must be dead on your feet.”

 

“I’ve rebuilt this laptop so many times that I can do it in my sleep,” Q deadpanned. “Plus, I prefer tea and not getting HR involved,” Q said, turning his head away from Alec as he pushed the laptop in his arms. “I ran the latest games at the highest resolution possible on it before bringing it and it performed excellent, but in the off chance that it crashes, do not hesitate to send someone wearing clothes to me with it.”

 

Feisty, snappy for a good reason, uncaring that he was dealing with blue blood… He was perfection sent especially for their bet from above.

 

***

When Q first started working for the royal family 6 months ago, he didn’t know what to expect but it sure as hell wasn’t personally taking care of the crowned prince’s gadgets – and, by God, he totally understood why the position he had was invented just for Prince Bond because the man had a talent to break and fill with viruses everything he touched even though he wasn’t particularly old.

 

Due to that destructive tendency, instead of an oral interview, he was presented with a laptop that was so hot to the touch that Q thought it would melt in his arms and then showed to a white room covered from wall to wall with all sorts of parts one might need to build anything from a computer to a car from scratch, a huge digital clock hanging in front of what would be his working station already counting down from 90 minutes.

 

No one told him anything, but it was very obvious what they had to do – for Q, at least. He learned at the second interview that 5 out of the total of 7 people that had passed the initial screening failed the first interview because they spent roughly 45 minutes asking over and over again what they were supposed to do instead of recreating the laptop from scratch. In fact, the only reason why he hadn’t been immediately hired since he had been the fasted out of the remaining 2 to finish his objective was because he couldn’t help himself and _improved_ the laptop to the point that if anyone tried to steal it, it would zap them, scan their fingerprints, take a picture of them, and then mail everything to the proper authorities and his would-be employees wanted to be sure that he really wanted to work for them.

 

Not knowing that he would be a glorified personal customer service representative – and because he lacked the personal experience that his field of expertise required in order to receive a decent paycheck – Q went out of his way to assure them that he did not have a single doubt going into this and even promised to find his perfect replacement should he decide to quit.

 

And then he met James Bond and Alec Trevelyan and both of the exasperating men made him want to quit just a month after he was hired.

 

The pair of them were outright men-children – despite the fact that Alec didn’t have a single drop of royal blood in him and therefore, one would think he would have had more common sense – and their preferred toys were really expensive cars, computers, laptops, digital watches, smartphones, tablets, and gaming consoles on which everybody expected him to work his magic – and seemingly spent their days dodging the responsibilities of their duties as well as teasing him.

 

He had always considered himself to be as silent as a cat and able to sneak in and out of rooms without being observed, but the two pains in his side proved to have a special radar that detected people who didn’t like to be in the limelight or noticed by those he worked for as they were more than happy to refer to him by his nickname and ‘promote’ him to the person who cleaned up all of their digital ‘mishaps’.

 

That meant that in the 6 months he worked for them, he had rebuilt and upgraded 42 laptops, 6 really expensive cars – that he never even thought he’d see with his own eyes, let alone touch them – the internal computers of 3 boats that were totally yachts, 165 phones – those poor things got destroyed almost on a daily basis – as well as work with a specialized team on the royal airplane. Countless other little things had been thrown on his workstation as well as encouragements to work on his own projects but the heir apparent and his occasional lover made sure that he never really had time for that.

 

A light knock at the door roused him from the light sleep he was in and a quick glance at the clock confirmed that he had been back in his bed for no longer than 20 minutes. “Come in,” he called out after the second, louder knock, groaning at the sight of a guilty looking Alec. “I just finished fixing it!” He exclaimed and dragged himself out of bed, uncaring how out of place he looked dressed in an old pair of baggy sweatpants and a washed out t-shirt in the Victorian furnished room and when compared to the other man’s silk pajamas.

 

“I shall talk with the prince about paying you overtime, but that’s not why I’m here,” Alec said slowly, smile disappearing from his face as he cleared his throat and clasped his arms behind his back, something that Q had learned to be a tell-tale sign of him being up to something.

 

“I’ve already signed 5 non-disclosure contracts.” And it wasn’t like this was the first time he had walked in on the two of them being intimate. Hell, the two of them had a very open unofficial relationship which meant that he, alongside all the castle workers, caught sight of both of them getting frisky with countless other men and women in dark corners and even closets. “But I don’t mind singing a 6th one. In the morning since they don’t have an expiration date on them and after I had my tea since these types of contracts go on for miles.”

 

“Noted, but that’s still not why I’m here.” Alec continued to grin without saying anything for the next five minutes, his words finally coming back to him only after Q fixed him with a glare, cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest. “With the threat of HR hanging between us, I wanted to check and make sure that you were still okay working with us after witnessing what you did.”

 

“It’s ‘for’, not’ with,” Q corrected, yawning. “But others sexuality doesn’t bother me and neither does what people do in their own houses. It’s just walking in on them that makes me feel really awkward,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes. “Now, is there anything else that I can do for you? Or can I finally go to bed?”

 

Alec bowed his head in understanding. “Have a good night, Q. And I’ll see you at breakfast.”

 

Even though they no longer lived in the middle ages, royalty and friends of royalty never ate at the same table with royal employees despite living under the same roof since it wouldn’t be any different than a janitor breaking bread on their time off in their employer’s house, so Q was more than shocked when he walked in the kitchen and found Alec sitting where he usually sat, seemingly unaware of how awkward everyone felt around him.

 

Things seemed to take a turn for the worse social-wise when he was spotted and Alec pretty much kicked person sitting on the chair to his left to make room for him. “Q! Q, come sit with me!”

 

“How is it humanly possible for you to have this much energy and be so upbeat at this unholy hour after last night?” Q asked in a whisper, pushing his glasses on his head so he could run a hand down his face.

 

“Sir Trevelyan is already on his third cup of coffee,” Miss Moneypenny, the heir apparent’s personal secretary and unfortunate PR chimed in, looking as miserably as Q felt while nursing her own cup of coffee. “Now the butler usually makes sure that he’s only served decaf, but since he was left unsupervised in here, he’s gone hyperactive and we have to deal with the consequences of that.”

 

Alec’s smile turned forced. “I think we need to make Miss Moneypenny sign 10 of those nondisclosure agreements every day so she deals with the consequences of running her big mouth off.”

 

Time seemed to have come to a still while the temperature in the room went below zero as bodyguard and secretary glared at each other, but Q was so sleepy that he didn’t notice that and walked right in their line of sight. “You know that I’m contractually obligated to fix everything that belongs to the heir apparent, right?”

 

“All I really want is to show my gratitude,” Alec said simply and pushed his plate closer to Q, Miss Moneypenny gasping in obvious fake shock at him sharing his food. “Ignore her; it’s what we always do.”

 

“Which is why I have to dye my hair at the age of 29,” she seethed between gritted teeth, drumming her perfectly manicured fingers against the table. “But, fine. I won’t bother telling either you or James not to hit on any of the special guests that are flying in.”

 

“I don’t care about them,” Alec said simply, turning his attention back to Q. “So, as creepy as it sounds, I had to read your personal file since you do have almost complete and unsupervised access to my charge, but please tell me about you.”

 

Still suspicious, but perfectly aware that when Alec set his mind to something, there was no deterring him and that he could literally annoy someone into giving him what he wanted, Q pretty much reiterated his CV: he got his engineering diploma at the University of Cambridge when he was just 19, he had his internship at Microsoft, gained more experience with Google, helped a friend do the layout for a dating app, and then came here.

 

He also explained without being prompted that he ended up working for them because they didn’t really ask for years of experience which he was too young to have and while Microsoft and Google were more than willing to expand his internships so he could gain it while also paying for his living expenses in their unofficial dorms, he would have still needed another job to actually live.

 

“Interesting, don’t get me wrong, but you still haven’t told me anything about you,” Alec said, resting his chin on his fists, his smile getting bigger. “What do you like to eat and drink? Was it your dream to become a boffin? What do you like in a movie, book, date, and lover?”

 

“I have HR on speed dial,” Miss Moneypenny warned as she got up from the table and grabbed Q’s arm. “And you started being on the clock five minutes ago, so off you go to the garage.”

 

Not that he wasn’t thankful to her for saving him from High Inquisitor Alec, but…“Why would I need to go to the garage? I’ve scheduled maintenance for the castle’s servers and check-up on PCs R001 through R007 for today.”

 

“Yes, but Prince James took his father’s Rolls out for a spin last night and you really need to look at it before her Ladyship sees it and pulls a Queen of Hearts move,” the woman explained and patted his back, the door slamming behind them right in Alec’s face.

 

The sight of the beautiful car caked in dirt and with branches sticking out from under the hood made the mechanical crew shed a tear and Q wonder if maybe everyone would better benefit from a beheaded heir apparent because it was clear that he wasn’t using his head for anything than to capture hot air and Her Ladyship was the one currently ruling the country in everything but name and title.

 

Usurper thoughts aside, Q knew his whole day was shot so he ditched  his shirt, put on a pair of protective goggles and popped open the hood to see just how extensive the damage was and if it had gotten to the car’s electrical system, letting out a long suffering sigh when he saw that it had. But at least they had every part they might need to fix everything and Bill Tanner – the castle’s Chief of staff and unofficial PA for the true ruler of the country – sent him a quick text to let him know that he wouldn’t be disturbed by anyone that day, so he could take his time fixing everything.

 

Of course, Bill Tanner was often wrong and it wasn’t any different this time, so shame on Q for believing him and ending up with a lump on his head when Prince James suddenly materialized next to him and started talking to him like they were the oldest friends in the world.

 

“Bring some ice and call my personal doctor,” the prince ordered, pretty much dragging Q to a set table in the middle of the garage that had no business being there. “Is this a normal occurrence?”

 

“It only happens when people sneak up on me, Your Majesty.”

 

“I’ll make it a law for everyone to wear a bell when they’re around you.” He pushed a bag of ice to Q’s head and a glass of red wine in his hand. “Let’s have lunch.”

 

Q arched his eyebrow as he looked down on his oil covered chest and back at the car out of which nothing but the body was left intact. “The kitchen usually sends down a few sandwiches for me when I’m working on such a big and tiring project.”

 

“Hmm, that would explain why all the servants get fussy around you when the wind picks up,” the prince muttered and pushed the plate with the bigger steak closer to him, the corner of his lips twitching upwards when he heard Q’s stomach growl. “If you’re a vegetarian or vegan, I can always send this back to the kitchen and have the cook prepare something that you might enjoy.”

 

“It’s not that,” Q intervened, grabbing the plate before a servant could whisk it away. “Do not take this the wrong way, Your Majesty,” the prince’s eyebrow arched because Q pretty much did verbal gymnastics to avoid using his title, so he was curious to see where this was going, “but is anything the matter?”

 

James crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head sideways. “I have to attend that ghastly Christmas ball in December,” never mind it was spring and all he had to do was stand there and look pretty while rich ladies and reporters fawned over him, “and M will find a way to have my head without literally having it for the way the state this car is in,” he quickly grabbed Q’s arm and pulled him back down. “She already knows about it and she’ll be coming after me, not after the poor bloke tasked with fixing it.”

 

Ah, everything that had to do with the royal pain started to make sense. The prince was hiding out in the one place he thought M wouldn’t think of looking for him “Even so, Your Majesty, I cannot eat when I am supposed to be working. It wouldn’t be fair to the team of workers I have on loan for the day.”

 

Of course everyone around them started to assure Q that wouldn’t take any offence if he took an early, unofficial lunch, but it was only normal for them to react like that when their future king was the ringleader of the whole thing and he was silently daring them to so much as think up of a single complaint.

 

“Given that they are all kind, would you terribly mind if I were to share at least some of the fruits them?” He’d seen how all of their eyes sparkled at the sight of the exotic fruits and it would be impossible for him to actually enjoy anything knowing that they were drooling somewhere in the background. “Just the ones on my plate, of course.”

 

“Nonsense,” the prince said and waved his hand, a servant appeared out of nowhere with a huge fruit platter. “Actually, bring them all a serving of what we’re having; Q strikes me as the kind of person who’d happily pick off whatever breadcrumbs are left if it meant that  your crew is well-fed.”

 

Q gave credit where credit was due and he even mentally apologized to the royal for thinking that he didn’t notice anything other than fast cars, women, and men. Eerily enough, James seemed aware of even was Q was thinking since he leaned closer to him and winked right before shoving his own fork with a small piece in his mouth, the divine taste that followed distracting the younger man from how inappropriate everything was.

 

It only dawned at him at 2 in the morning that the prince had also been as inquisitive as his bodyguard, but he had been so clever in the way he had engage the whole crowd instead of asking him questions directly that he actually managed to get answers. Q had pretty much sang like a canary about his childhood spent in the outskirts of London, respected and sought out by the older kids because even since back then he could pretty much fix everything and about how he loved every animal except chickens because of that one horror movie he’d snuck in to see when he was just 9.

 

He was just about to start banning his head against the radiator when Alec snuck up behind him and startled him so hard that he ended up with an almost identical lump right next to the one the prince had indirectly given him.

 

“Feel free to put bells on me and I promise to never take them off,” Alec muttered as he pushed a cold spoon up against Q’s head, decent enough to look at least somewhat apologetic.

 

“I can only imagine the kind of trouble the prince gets in that requires you to be extremely stealthy, so I’ll just settle for a simple knock or a warning.” He pushed the man gently away, not quite bothered by the way the other was fussing about him, but not fully enjoying it either. “I’m sad to say that the car is not quite done.”

 

“The engine on the table gave it away, but I’m not here for that.” He looked very proud of himself as he showed Q a thermos. “Tea done exactly like you like it; an apology for coming off so strong last night and this morning. And for this lump,” he added in a smaller voice rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just the way that I am and I know it can be off putting and suspicious, but I honestly don’t want anything from you other than to befriend you.”

 

Q carefully opened the thermos and took a deep breath, closing his eyes and allowing himself to relax a little. “I’m afraid that I’m quite a boring person, Mister Trevelyan.”

 

“I beg to differ,” Alec said and drummed his fingers over the engine, stopped from wiping his fingers on his white t-shirt by Q grabbing his hand and his own ruined shirt that he had wrapped around his middle. “Sleep schedule, clothes, and the smoothness of your skull… Is there anything that we haven’t ruined yet?”

 

“I’ve always been a night owl and I always make sure to wear the cheapest things I own when oil is involved. My head, however…” He trailed off and flinched when he ran his hand through his skull, Alec back again at pressing a cold wrench against his newest lump. “Thank you for the tea, Mister Trevelyan.”

 

“You’re welcome, although I admit to being merely a delivery boy.” He moved away after gently running his hand through Q’s hair and then bowed a little. “Please call me Alec, if it doesn’t make you feel like HR needs to be involved.”

 

Humming and tilting his head, Q kept Alec in suspense for a moment before chuckling. “You do not seem like the kind who’d warrant the need for HR. Plus, I’ve taken upon myself to always armed,” he pulled out something from his pocket that turned out to be a teaser despite  it not looking like one. “Miss Moneypenny and the chief of staff suggested I do so, given my current position in the royal court.”

 

Alec frowned and clicked his tongue. “Although that shouldn’t be something that you worry about,” he grumbled, cracking his knuckles. “What about self-defence?”

 

Q shrugged, taking a step back and lifting his arms. “As you can see, I’m not exactly in the right physical condition.”

 

“Nonsense!” Alec interjected, flexing his actual muscles. “These would be completely useless if I didn't know how to fight.” He flex for a little while longer and Q hoped that it wasn't his not quite subtle gawking that made him stop. “As the sort of head of security, I'll see what I can do about giving you a security detail and self-defence classes. Provided you're interested in them?”

 

“Well I'll admit to having thought about looking into those, but I don't suppose we could ditch the guards?”

 

Alec laughed, patting Q's back before resting his hand on his shoulder and squeezing it. “Not on your life, he said dead serious. “Also, I’m actually here because I checked with Bill and he let slip that you've already filled your overtime quota for this month and what you really have in that thermos is chamomile tea.”

 

That night – or rather, morning – Q learned that there was no fighting Alec when he set his mind to do something and when there was no shadow of a doubt that he was right. He didn't care that Q wasn't tired; he could go not be tired in his room, watching a movie or reading a book or if he really had a lot of energy, he could go out clubbing or do whatever just as long as it wasn't working.

 

Alec also saw him to his room and Q realized his mistake in revealing his slight fear of something bad happening to him only when the man stopped him from entering, instructing the two guards that appeared out of nowhere - everyone might as well be a ninja in this place at this point - to check even under the bed for any uninvited guests.

 

“Now you're just insulting my digital security system,” Q tried to joke, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting slightly.

 

But Alec was still in his serious mode. “You have your very own army of boffins that could be swayed with money or threats to assist in temporarily shutting down your system, so I will rely on my own people for this check.”

 

Q didn't point out that the same could be said about his own people and instead just plopped himself down on one of the very expensive chairs that he had been told on his first day in the palace that was there for just decorative reasons and tried not fall asleep. But just as he was about to lose that battle, the prince showed up holding a similar thermos as Alec had and dressed in nothing but a pair of silk pyjamas, looking quite proud of the double take Q did.

 

“Don't tell me that it's tea done just the way I like it, Your Majesty, because I absolutely loathe chamomile tea.”

 

The prince tossed the thermos to Alec. “I was planning on dropping by the garage to see if you also suffered from insomnia but more importantly, why are there guards in the room?” The question was really addressed to Alec so Q just sighed and closed his eyes, the men’s murmured conversation slowly lulling him to sleep.

 

***

Normal were the moments in which people were glum and normal was still when they felt dumb. And dumb was how both James and Alec felt for only now realizing that certain members of their house needed extra security despite not having a single drop of royal blood in their veins. As a result of this sudden realization, poor Bill Tanner was practically dragged out of bed, although he too had become a night owl since working with the royal family, so he’d been bothered from his daily crossword puzzles.

 

“Sir Silva personally oversee the castle’s security,” Tanner started to carefully explain after hearing their complaints, doing his best to pretend like he didn’t notice how insulted and baffled Alec looked at this reveal. “And while young Q is quite extraordinary at his job to the point  where Lord Boothroyd constantly brings up his dissatisfaction with the young man’s current position, there has never been an attempt made on his person inside the castle.”

 

“What about outside?” James asked, getting even more annoyed when he saw that Tanner was hesitation. “I’m waiting, Bill.”

 

“Nothing came out of it—”

 

“Not what you were asked,” Alec interrupted him in a growl, now sitting like a sullen child with his back turned towards them.

 

“Look, Your Majesty, this is really more of a line of questioning for the police…” He trailed off when the temperature in the room dropped by a few degrees. “There have been reports of unsavoury characters trailing off after the castle’s IT staff and one even reported an attempted robbery, but it didn’t happen to Q and Sir Silva has been informed.”

 

Bill stopped talking altogether as it was well known that James tended to space out when his cousin’s henchman was brought into discussion. However, this time he was irked by more than the mere mention of that man and his grim face made it clear that he was going to change a few things.

 

“You are free to go back to your room,” Alec finally told the tired man and Bill was more than happy to quickly wish them a good night and disappear from the room. “I could be Q’s temporary bodyguard until you and M come up with a proper plan.”

 

James huffed. “We both know that by the time we wake up tomorrow, M and that boring Gareth Mallory will have come up with not only the main plan but at least five contingence ones.” He threw himself in his huge bed, no surprised that Alec sat down in a chair. “Now let’s focus on our bet: did you make any headway or will I also have my ears chewed off tomorrow because HR got involved?”

 

“Oh ye of little faith and all that,” Alec mocked and then the both of them started to brag about what they had accomplished with Q that day – little as it was, James was still the obvious winner and Alec was sure he’d get a glare or five in the morning when Q suddenly found himself with two silent mountains walking around after him since no one really liked having personal bodyguards.

 

Of course, there were countless other things that people hated, but the one that was forced upon Q the following day was to present himself in front of the royal court at 7 AM sharp without looking like he was sleepwalking or slouching – which was no easy feat because apparently Q was a heavy sleeper and the guards that had searched the room hovered about him for three hours before daring the wake Bill Tanner once again just to ask if it was okay for them to carry the boffin to his room or if they had to get Medical involved so HR wouldn’t.

 

“I understand that there were problems?” M started because she reigned in James’ place and he was perfectly fine with that and even wished that she were immortal so he could enjoy the perks of being a royal without suffering from the disadvantages of a heavy head.

 

The one person with blue blood that couldn’t stand that was James’ cousin, a man many saw as despicable by the name of Franz Oberhauser. “Of course there was trouble, Your Ladyship,” he spat the title like it was pure poison. “There will always be—”

 

“M was talking with Q,” James intervened, yawning and stretching. “Really, cousin… I always assumed you actually paid attention to all those etiquette classes I worked so hard to skip.”

 

“My knight in shining armour,” M deadpanned, fixing the two men with her hard glare for a moment before turning to Q and actually sketching what some might call a soft smile. “I’m sure it’s apparent by now that we damned the rules of court, so why don’t the two of us have a quick chat about everything in my office, like a normal employer and employee would?”

 

When half an hour passed and all that happened was that James’ cousin blinked – making him the loser of that staring contest they’ve always had since they realized what their birth order meant and thus, forced to sullenly wait for the prince to decide when to leave – and Alec got bored, James decided to pretend that he had forgotten that M was in her office and casually walked in.

 

“—covered from head to toe in strawberry jam,” the woman concluded in a laugh, Q’s own laugh getting stuck in his throat at the sight of James. “That being said, you have today off and I’ll hear no words from you as I’ve suddenly developed a rather strong and annoying headache.”

 

For James, that was an open invitation to start annoying her – especially since he knew what embarrassing story she was sharing with the man – but it seemed that Q took pity on not so frail old women that were the devil incarnate and nodded his insincere thanks before quickly making his way out of the room, almost breaking out in laughter again when he passed by James.

 

“Leave him alone,” ordered M once it was just the two of them, eyes narrowed at how innocently James was looking at her. “I mean it, Bond.”

 

“Sang like a canary, did he?”

 

M threw a pen at James to keep him from going anywhere near her drinking cabinet – he may be of age and she was aware that he was getting shitfaced as often as possible, but she’d be damned if she’d allow him to do so while she was present. “He danced around the subject of you well enough to tip me off that something was up. But he’s the only competent boffin we’ve had working for us in a while, so leave him alone and come look over some decrees with—”

 

“If you’ll insist on being boring, like always, then I’ll excuse myself,” James interrupted, bowing low and making himself scarce before she could grab the back of his shirt and drag him to the desk.

 

He had much important things to do than paperwork, such as surprise Q with a trip to a spa since it was their fault that his back hurt – which it did because he was sitting slightly slouched even though the younger man claimed otherwise as he shifted his weight from one foot to another, clearly uncomfortable with the two suits that were hovering behind them.

 

“I can teach you how to expertly ditch them because, trust me, the novelty of your own safety will wear off after a week or two,” he whispered in Q’s ear, absolutely loving the fact that the guards looked mortified when he locked his eyes on them and smirked. “I used to love it to see them try to look decent in front of my…” He suddenly trailed off, his smile completely disappearing and since Q knew why that had happened, he wholeheartedly agreed to go with the orphaned prince at the spa.

 

James made sure that Q was treated as if he too was royalty, smirking triumphantly at Alec with a mostly putty Q and a lot more knowledge about him which he wasted no time sharing with him – despite the fact that they were in the middle of a bed and, logically, it wasn’t a good idea to share your information with your enemy.

 

He chuckled and imagined drumming his fingers down Q’s back as he was incredibly ticklish when he was nervous. The concept of yin and yang when it came to massages was lost on also lost on Q because he had to be completely naked in front of a stranger and he had a talent to make others feel bad about something he had done to the point where James sent his car after the ditched bodyguards and paying for their day at the spa as well.

 

Now originally, Alec had planned on whisking Q to the private gym after he was done with James but strangely enough, he couldn’t bring himself to start throwing him around a padded room even if it meant that he was defenceless without his bodyguards and electrical gadgets.

 

“Don’t imagine for a single second that I would have allowed you to do that, especially since he went straight to bed, but I do admit to being very curious about why you think that self-defence lessons would win him over.”

 

Alec grinned not unlike the Cheshire cat would. “Do I really need to remind you what we always ended up doing when practicing with each other?”

 

“I’m afraid that my memory isn’t as good as it used to be, so a refresher course would be more than welcomed,” James murmured, already undoing his shirt.

 

Q wasn’t the only one with a small smile on his lips that night, although neither man got to enjoy the each other’s good moods as James found himself forced to attend a sudden official dinner that had been sprung on him by either M or his cousin, Alec was detained by Malory and Bill to discuss the new security plans that they had finally managed to come up with, and the boffin himself suddenly found himself having to fight off a rather annoying hacking attempt director towards the castle’s private servers.

 

By morning all three men were back to being balls of tension and since it was a new month, Q’s overtime request couldn’t be denied no matter how much James had tried to strong-arm M into outright ordering it. So back to lunch and dinner attempts, all which ended with nothing new found out because Q would turn his head away from the computers, grumbling about how he suspected that the chink in his virtual armour came from either 007 or 006.

 

But there was no rush and by the third month, that was all for the best as the two realized that they quite liked Q and that it went beyond the thrill of a chase. Not only did he have his looks and intelligence working for him – the latter of which was of no surprise for those that actually had a brain – but he also bad an air about him that once encountered, had the two men drawn to him like they were some kind of moths and he a flame.

 

Not that winning his affection was an easy feat.

 

He always found a way to weasel out of dinners at fancy restaurants, expensive watches had no meaning to him because he could recreate their mechanism in his sleep, bought technology was never up to par with what he could do –he always tinkered with what he was given, properly upgrading everything on them before giving them back – preferred to ride a bicycle over cars, and was very proud of the fact that he could find a bargain for almost everything.

 

His team was also like his family and he shared everything he could with them which explained the almost cult that had formed around him which neither of the two men had noticed until they’ve given Q their undivided attention. Sneaky Eve knew of it, of course, and was more than happy to present them with a list of all the boffin’s underlings that had a strong distaste for them and the various reasons why – which ranged from them somehow hypnotizing Q into working for chicken feed to them very obviously wanting to screw and withdrew.

 

“Was that rhyme really necessary?” James asked yawning and wondering if he should perhaps focus more on the subtle threat of a possible revolution.

 

“I ask myself the same thing every time you say one of your legendary lame lines,” Eve quipped right back, clasping her hands together and resting her chin on them. “More importantly, James, why don’t you and Alec call it a draw and continue treating Q like a human being?”

 

James snorted, but something dawned on Eve and she grinned even as the two men gave her hard looks. “Why don’t you two think of the things he like instead of all your failures?”

 

Chocolate, they both found out, was something Q couldn’t resist. The man always had a bar hidden somewhere which he eagerly devoured at every hour of the day and if he was busy with something really important, he forgot he wasn’t alone and spent a few minutes licking his fingers clean like the giant cat he was.

 

Q also loved silly comedies – romantic or otherwise – and action movies with spies or superheroes, but they always caught wind of the newest movie too late or they always had to attend the premier in another country which the younger man never agreed since they really couldn’t mark the trip down as ‘business expense’ or because it wouldn’t be right for him to make them spend so much of their money. 

 

‘Cats!’ both men suddenly thought and shared a grin because just the sight of one furry creature instantly calmed down Q and made him forget all about the thing that had made him angry. He gush over whatever cat he happened upon like it was the centre of the universe and neither James nor Alec had yet seen a single one that hissed, clawed, or ignored Q and that lead them to believe that cats were a lot smarter than they let others believe.

 

He also happen to love horses and lucky them, he had no idea how to ride one, so both got a chance to keep him in the front of the saddle for a few days as they trotted around the castle’s grounds, more than disappointed when M proudly announced that she had gotten Q a riding instructor. But they turned that into an advantage and ended up taking Q on picnics under the guise of making sure that he was being taught how to ride.

 

“Your goofy smiles tell me that your brains finally started to work, but what I want you two to do now is think really hard of how everything is supposed to work between the three of you and if a permanent friend wouldn’t be better than a temporary bed warmer.”

 

***

Q was conflicted. He had _noticed_ James and Alec and it worried him. They had also very obviously noticed him and he felt flattered, but mostly confused. Not because he had caught their eyes but because he felt like there was a choice that needed to be done and, depending on what he decided, another, much tougher one.

 

“ _Just hit it and quit it,”_ darling older sister R deadpanned from his laptop, only a tuft of her hair visible as Q's cats struggled desperately to reach him through the camera. “ _Get them out of your system, have them get you out of theirs, and ask his royal highness to throw in a few extra tickets for the rest of your family the next time he offers to fly you somewhere because the last time he went there, their Wi-Fi sucked and you're the only one who can help them, Obi Wan Q-noby.”_

 

Why weren’t the people in his life good at giving advice? And wasn’t his big sister supposed to rant about how she’d castrate anyone who’d even think about touching him instead of practically smack a tie on his ass and tossing him in a stranger's bed? Let alone vote quite eagerly for him to participate in a threesome with his superiors?

 

“I hate you so much,” he muttered and started to rub his temples. “Where’s mom? You’ve gotten me to the point of wanting to discuss my sex life with my own mother.”

 

“ _What sex life? A nun has more of a sex life than you do, Q and if you really want it, I can get mom in here to say the same thing._ ” She turned her head to the side and if he was next to her, he would have attempted to wring her neck. _“Mom! Q forgot he doesn’t have a sex life and he needs you to remind him._ ”

 

“I’m hanging up and divorcing each and every one of you because I hear those other two bastards laughing in the background and shame on father for joining in instead of defending his youngest!” Maybe if he hit his head hard enough he could forget this whole conversation as well as the rest of his troubles.

 

Although if he took his sister’s advice, he’d get pleasure out of it and he could lord the fact that he not only had someone who could easily appear on the cover of GQ magazine but also a future king over the heads of his siblings for the rest of their lives. Of course, if he had both at the same time or separately everyone in the country would know in seconds what he was of easy morals and if he did the latter, he’d be the bastard of the year.

 

Or maybe he was imagining everything? People could be nice just for the friendship’s sake and he tended to overthink things that weren’t related to computers since everything that wasn’t related to that went over his head.

 

“Did you fall asleep at your laptop again, Q?” James asked as he entered his office, forgetting all about the laptop he had under his arm in favour of running the back of his hand against his forehead. “Really, Q, I have half a mind to refurbish this entire office into one giant bed.”

 

“I was actually having  a rather annoying conversation with one of my eldest siblings,” he grumbled, trying really hard not to lean in James’ hand which was unsurprisingly soft given the types of gloves the man wore every time he was doing something official – or ditching from doing that official thing.

 

“As an only child, I must ask… Is it really that bad to be part of a bigger family?” James asked carefully.

 

Q would kick himself later for not realizing that he had struck a nerve but for now he was happy to complain about his family. “I’m the youngest of four, so you can imagine that everyone somehow manage to tease and fuss over me at the same time and I don’t know which is more annoying.”

 

“Surely the teasing,” James said quietly, leaning closer to Q to look at the picture he was showing him on his phone. “You’re the only one of your siblings that got your father’s eyes and your mother’s hair.”

 

He was not going to share the fact that everyone thought his parents had two girls and two boys until he was three thanks to his mother dressing him up in dresses until he was three and referring to him by the feminine version of his name. “I also got mother’s nose which is a great source of distress to my sister. Mother assured me I’m also the only one that got something else from father, but that’s another traumatic discussion that I really don’t wish to recall ever.”

 

James’ hand hovered over the screen for a moment before pulling back and patting Q’s back, regret obvious in his eyes. “How about we have a drink together to make sure that doesn’t happen? I know you don’t like bars and I’ve only ever seen you ingest alcohol when it was in candies, but my royal quarters don’t count and Alec will tag along to offer us the best lame jokes that humanity has ever heard and make sure we all focus on happy thoughts.”

 

A voice in his mind – that suspiciously sounded like R – told him to go for it. Get wasted with the most expensive alcohol in the universe and then have a bit of fun that made devoted religious people gasp in shock and faint while another voice told him to apologize for what his words had done and then politely decline the offer.

 

“Maybe just a glass of your weakest cocktail.” Q was well known for making bad choices.

 

“Just a shaken not stirred martini for you and then nothing but tea and me complaining in an overly dramatic way about the Christmas ball that’s tomorrow night while Alec mimics me behind my back,” James promised.

 

Only, the exact opposite happened and two hours later, James was struggling to make Q his nth cocktail while Alec was laughing at something that really didn’t make sense, pushing his face against the younger man’s back. Q was also laughing, although he did his best to sit up straight since that’s was the only time when the world was spinning at a normal speed and when he wasn’t seeing triple.

 

He was vaguely aware that he was going to pay for this in the morning with a huge headache, but he so didn’t care because Alec was so warm and the martini had actually stopped being bitter and he liked to pretend that he was swallowing fire – maybe that was why they were all laughing? Or was it because in an attempt to explain why the Christmas ball was so boring, Alec had taken to prancing around and giggling while James spent a few minutes babbling royal titles in a low voice?

 

Wait, no… It was it because James was struggling with the cocktail because he had ditched his shirt for a bet with Alec and wanted to prove that he could make mix the drinks perfectly while constantly flexing his pecks.

 

“You’re not pouring in the glass, so show us your ass!” Alec suddenly exclaimed and swiftly ran to James’ side to try and pull down his pants, Q ending up on his back and wondering if the ceiling had always been there and how it was possible for a floor to be so soft.

 

“I wonder if this is how an asteroid feels when it’s hurling through space,” Q wondered out loud as he started to focus on the floating sensation despite how queasy it made him feel. “Actually, think I’m going to start hurling myself if we don’t slow down.”

 

And then he was sitting in an upright position again, Alec’s face both a bit too close to his and not close enough, James holding one of his hands and rubbing the inside of his palm, looking a bit distraught.

 

“Better?” The prince asked in a whisper, sending goosebumps down Q’s hand and spine

 

Thinking that maybe if he sat higher still, he’d be able to think and see better, Q moved a little bit forward, his lips brushing against Alec’s. “Perfect.”

 

“Not quite,” corrected Alec in a whisper and then they were kissing, Q holding on to him with one hand like he was afraid of slipping into avoid and disappear forever while also pushing his other hand against James’ face, afraid that he’d lose him too.

 

Of course that was the exact moment his brain started to work and his eyes snapped opened, landing directly on the silent and unmoving James and before that could change, he pushed Alec away and stumbled off of the bed, hand covering his mouth and then tore through the door when he saw the prince opening his mouth.

 

He had made it back to his room in a heartbeat, slamming the door right in his bodyguards’ noses. “I’m too drunk to be civil,” he excused himself and then locked the door. “I shan’t work tomorrow either, if you’d be so kind to pass that information along to Mister Tanner should he still be awake.”

 

“Do you want us to call you a doctor?” The one that had a teenager home asked.

 

“Not that drunk, but thank you.” He ditched his clothes and he was suddenly feeling tipsy again, the ground slipping from under his feet just as he reached the bed.

 

“We’ll be right outside the door should you change your mind,” the other promised, but it had become much too hard for Q to form words and he happily let sleep claim him.

 

He was undisturbed until sometimes late in the afternoon and though he woke up feeling a lot better than he should have, his heart starting to race when he heard a key being pushed into a door and the locks open.

 

“Quite a night you had there, boffin,” Franz Oberhauser spat as he let himself in, throwing a very fancy suit at his head. “That was hanging just outside your door, surely a gift from Bond’s dog for the services with which  you provided him last night.”

 

“I commend you for having enough of a brain to cover my eyes so I don’t see you, otherwise I fear I wouldn’t have been able to control myself in this state and would have pulled an ‘Exorcist’ on you,” Q mocked, somewhat distracted from his anger by how soft the dark purple suit was to the touch and by how intricate the golden stag that had been stitched on its sleeves was. “What are you doing in here anyway?”

 

“My cousin don’t see eye to eye,” the royal started, sitting himself down at Q’s desk, “which is why I came here to rob him of the pleasure of personally kicking you out of the castle for costing him the bet.”

 

Q frowned and held off on getting out of bed when he remembered that he only had his pants on. “What on Earth are you talking about? What bet?”

 

“Why, the bet on who of the two of them would get you, boffin,” Franz continued in an amused voice, crossing his arms over his chest. “You didn’t seriously think that a man of my cousin’s pedigree and the dog he has raised to love nothing but the finest and richest things that life has to offer would seriously be interested in you beyond getting their laptops fixed, did you?”

 

“What have I ever done to you to—?”

 

“You’re a nothing that fails to show proper respect,” Franz interrupted him, tossing a USB stick at his head. “I’ll stay right here while you watch that and if you’re as good as you think yourself to be, you’ll know right away that it isn’t faked.”

 

Q was reluctant to put anything this man gave  him in a laptop, but if that was going to get him to shut up and get out so he could nurse his fears and headache in peace, than he’d gladly risk testing his antivirus. “I’ll have you forcefully removed from my room after this, of course.”

 

Franz grinned. “I’d love to see you try, you twig of a peasant.”

 

His finger hovered about the ‘enter’ key and then his heart went numb and his stomach started  burning when the video started to play and the clear audio echoed around the room.

 

“ _I got this bet in the pocket_ ,” James was saying to Alec as they both made their way through the castle’s main hall. “ _Q practically chase you away with a broom this morning while he was more than happy to trick me into sharing the food with his people in exchange for his time._ ”

 

Alec huffed and the claw in Q’s heart went deeper as he continued the conversation. “ _So you got the boffin to open up, good for you. But he was just as distrustful of you as he was of me and something tells me that I’ll taste him way before you do, Mr Playboy. I mean he does have at least half of brain and he’ll realize you want something from him—”_

 

Q slammed the laptop shut. “If you are as much as a royal as you pretend to be, you’ll have the decency to let me be alone.”

 

“Did you already forget the part when I’m kicking you out?” The man looked even more disgusting when he was getting pleasure out of something than he normally did.

 

“I don’t understand—”

 

“Proof that you’re not such a clever boy,” the man practically purred at him, leaning back in the chair as three people entered the room, starting to throw his clothes in luggage while Q’s own bodyguards were retained by the door. “Does Bond strike you as the type of man who’d be okay to losing anything, let alone a bet to a dog?”

 

Q wasn’t sure he knew anything at this point.

 

“That being said, you have exactly five minutes to dress yourself or risk being escorted off the premises in what you’re currently wearing.” He tossed a plane ticket in Q’s direction as he got up. “Oh and… For every single thing you want to leave with from here that aren’t your clothes, you will have to pay.”

 

***

James had to greet everyone with a smile on his lips and make a short, pleasant conversation with them because he was the prince, but Alec was free to skulk in a corer somewhere and hiss at whatever fool tried to strike up a mindless conversation with him while glaring at the grand clock atop the stairs because Q was supposed to already have been here half an hour ago and the boffin was never late. He was furtherly irked by the fact that the people he actually wanted to talk to avoided him like the plague and he just knew that something was wrong.

 

“We should have talked with him,” he told no one in particular and swiped another glass of champagne as he made his way out of the grand ballroom. James’ title got him stuck in this glittering place of annoyance and forced laughter, but he was free to roam and try to explain the note and suit’s meaning and see if he was okay with everything.

 

Except Q’s room was empty save for the suit that he and James had made especially for him that was laid out on the made bed. His hand trembled as he brushed his fingers against the suit, confused, angry, and sad all at the same time.

 

“I was handed his resignation by Silva at the crack of dawn,” Eve said quietly from the door, her glum face clashing. “And Her Ladyship decided not to—”

 

“It wasn’t M’s decision to make,” Alec snapped and Eve took a step back. “Wait, since when does Silva do anything for someone that’s not Franz?” He didn’t wait for Eve to answer and bolted to the ballroom.

 

They should have followed Q to his room and try to talk with him – through the door, if Q was that scared of them. Or, they should have planted themselves in front of his door in the morning and waited for him to wake up instead of hanging their gift on a wall and slap a little note to it that didn’t do any justice to what they felt.

 

A few guards tried to stop him when they saw how fast he was running, but everybody needed a refresher course in guarding because all Alec had to do was lean forward a little to dodge their hands and the only thing that stopped him was James’ body when he slammed into him.

 

“What happened to Q?” James asked because he too had been worried and it was really the only reason why Alec would act the way he was.

 

“He packed everything and left early in the morning,” Alec wheezed out, thankful for the glass of whatever that a faceless server pushed in his hand. “Silva was the mailman and M knew, but kept quiet about it so this bloody circus wasn’t interrupted.”

 

Drawn from whatever cauldron she was stirring by all the commotion, M was quick to link her arms together with theirs and flash the surprised crowd her hugest smile. “You must excuse His Majesty’s bodyguard for his grand entrance, but we can’t really blame him for not wanting to lose any second from this ball while also fulfilling his duties.” The crowd laughed and the woman dug her nails in their arms to keep them from running away, her voice such a low hiss that it was a surprise that dogs weren’t hollowing. “We’ll discuss the former employee after the ball.”

 

Of course that order just pissed James off and if it wasn’t for the way the woman was stepping on his food, he would have exploded a long time ago. “You’re a future king first and a lovesick puppy second, Bond. Fulfil your duty first and then go about whatever dumb thing you did with a clear head.”

 

But there was nothing holding Alec back. “I’ll go; give me the plane and I’ll go after him and see what happened.”

 

They shared a nod, a smile, M tried in vain to stop them sharing a small peck – which Gareth explained it as a habit both men had picked up in Eastern Europe – and Alec rushed out the door again, Eve grabbing James and starting to twirl around the room with him, successfully distracting everyone from thinking too hard about what they had just witnessed – especially the ones from the part of Europe from which James and Alec supposedly learned how to part like that.

 

It was going to take roughly an hour for the royal house to receive permission to fly through every country’s airspace – except USA, Russia, China, and North Korea – so Alec had more than enough time to pack his bags and also get his papers in order. In fact, he was done with everything in less than 10 minutes and he had driven so fast that he had reached the airport in 20 minutes and the only thing that kept him grounded was Tanner trying to appeal to his better judgement and pointing out that even if he knew Q lived somewhere in the UK, that was still a huge island and that he might be turned away even if he did find him.

 

And the bloody bastard had a very good point because if Q had up and left like that because of the kiss, then…

 

“Well, congratulations, Mister Tanner! You just won an all-expenses paid trip to Q’s exact address,” he said over the coms. “Now get in the plane before I decide to randomly start knocking on random people’s doors and cause you a huge headache.”

 

But Tanners presence did not make things easier as Alec had hoped. Yes, they might have had the exact address, but that didn’t mean that Q’s family was too happy to see either one of them or do anything more than simply slam the door shut in their face the first time they knocked on the door and when James finally got there – three days later because of course a royal ball would last that long – Q’s parents threatened to outright get a restraining order.

 

It wasn’t until a month later, after they had checked with all the companies in London that could use someone like Q and then the entirety of UK that they found themselves back at Q’s family’s door and his sister finally took pity on them. She wasn’t very helpful as she simply gave them the name of what seemed like a random street and a time they needed to be there, but at least neither one of them had to explain to M why they needed to be bailed out – although Alec made it pretty clear he doubted that the local police force would risk an international scandal just because they were bothering someone – but at least they had a lead!

 

Okay, so when they got to the actual street, it looked like the perfect place where one could get either robbed or stabbed and the woman did strike them as someone whom you really didn’t want to cross, but all of their fears were put to rest when they saw a familiar shape stomp right by them.

 

Seeing that Alec was the one that offended the most, he was the first to jump out of the car and earned himself a smack in the head with a very heavy satchel the second he called out to him. “I meant you no harm back then and I mean you no harm now,” he said quickly, knowing by the hissed cursing that Q had recognized him.

 

“Oh, yes, because betting who’d get me and then the loser not only firing me, but blacklisting me from my own field of work would never hurt me!” He made to hit Alec again, but his wristwatch beeping saved the other from a most embarrassing K.O. “Great, now I’m going to be late thank to you.”

 

Alec was still in shock, but James had managed to snap out of it and jumped out of the car, blocking Q’s path. “It started off as a bet, yes, but I would never ruin someone’s future for something as petty as a bet and the note should have—”

 

“You’re ruining what’s left of my future right now, not that you care,” Q hissed, eye starting to twitch as his attempts of walking around James were blocked. “Would you just move?”

 

“No, because nothing makes sense,” James said simply and risked getting clobbered or his eyes clawed out by gently placing his hands on his shoulder to keep him still. “We were told you quit.”

 

Q snorted. “You don’t remember the things you do when you get piss drunk, do you? I kissed that bastard behind you and then you fired me and _blacklisted_ me.”

 

“He didn’t,” Tanner _finally_ spoke up, stepping out of the car. “I have your resignation letter right here with me.”

 

The letter disappeared from his hand even before he had fully pulled it out of his jacket and James and Alec crowded behind Q while the man read it over and over again. “I didn’t…” he started, but then trailed off, narrowing his eyes and pushing his face closer to the bottom of the paper, where his signature supposedly was.

 

Only, as Q pointed out, his real signature was more a scribble that you could barely made out that also incorporated his nickname while this official document was his last name in cursive and with a few added twists at the beginning and end.

 

“Franz signed this,” James hissed, linking his arm to Q’s and slowly turned him towards the car while Alec relieved him of his satchel. “Tell me, Q, who told you I fired you because Alec kissed you first?”

 

A tinge of redness spread over Q’s face. “Your cousin,” he admitted in a whisper and then dug his heels into the grown and crossed his arms over his chest, somehow ending up accidentally holding hands with James. “But you two still made a bet out of me and I’m still blacklisted.”

 

Moving in front of him while Alec plastered himself against his back and wrapped his arms around his chest, James squeezed Q’s hand. “I’ll personally call whoever you want as your boss and beg them to hire  you. As for the bet…”

 

“It was cruel, yes,” Alec admitted for them both, nuzzling Q’s neck. “But then we got to you know you and, well, on one side the note I left with the suit asked if you were willing to take a chance with us while the other side was a restraining order that just needed your signature.”

 

Q gave a short nod and pushed closer to Alec, running his thumb over James’ knuckles. “That sounds like the type of extreme thing you would do without a second thought and please wipe that smile off your face, Alec; it wasn’t meant as a compliment.”

 

“You just said ‘compliment’, so he will take it as one.” James murmured and wrapped his arms around both men, closing his eyes as he inhaled Q’s smell. “Now why don’t we get somewhere warm and think of how to deal with my cousin?”


End file.
